Make the phone your friend

Alexander Graham Bell didn’t know what he was starting when he invented the telephone. He never could have predicted the number of problems his invention would cause in the relationships of today. Agreed, the phone may be one of the greatest inventions of all time, but men and women still don’t know how to use it when it comes to dating. Not to worry. Here’s how to use the phone to win your lady over rather than scaring her off.

YOU SCORED THE NUMBER

Amongst the most popular questions vis-a-vis dating these days is, ‘How do I approach her?’ or ‘How do I ask her out?’ or even ‘When do I call her?’ Do you really need to mull over this for days together? Let’s say you meet a woman at a club. You’re both on the dance floor and you’re having a great conversation about whether or not there is a life force besides ours. The two of you hit it off and you ask her for her home phone number. You’re dying to pick up the phone and give your new friend a call, but of course, you can’t call that very same night. That would seem way too eager.

RULES ARE MADE TO BE BROKEN

There is an unwritten rule that you have to wait a certain amount of time before calling up a woman you’ve just met. Not waiting doesn’t necessarily make you seem overeager; it’s what you say and your demeanour on the phone that really matters. Therefore, if you call her on the second day, be calm. Ask her how she’s been and chitchat for a short while, but don’t let the conversation drag on.

AFTER THE DATE

So the two of you went out and had a great time together. Within the next couple of days, you should call to tell her that you had a lot of fun. This call does not serve the specific purpose of asking her out on another date; it’s just to touch base and show her that you’re confident enough to call her again. By not securing another date with her, you’ll be catching her off guard once again and subtly easing yourself into her thoughts.

LEAVE A MESSAGE

Now this part is crucial. If she doesn’t answer and her voice mail picks up, leave a message. In any case, her phone will give her a missed call list, so she will know you called in any case. If you don’t leave a message, she might think you were too nervous or lacked the confidence to leave proof that you called. Make sure to leave your name and number clearly. Don’t blabber on forever, don’t sound too serious and don’t repeat the information. If you leave a message, it becomes her obligation to call you back. If she doesn’t, and you really feel that the first date went well, you can try her again - but only after a few days.

NO ANSWER

This too is very important: If there is just no answer every time you call, don’t call her every hour. Calling obsessively will make you seem like a stalker. Finally, something that most of us have learned the hard way is that you shouldn’t take what other people say too literally. If she says she’ll call you on Monday night, for example, do not sit by the phone waiting for her call. Just call her up.