How to win a man’s heart

To win a man’s heart, one has to be understanding and kind. But to snag him and keep him as yours takes some effort. Here’s how to go about...


USE FLAWS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

Your generous hips and wavy hair is what sets you apart from a sea of rebonded toothpicks. With a little bit of confidence, you can turn what is ‘unfashionable’ right now into something timeless and classic. In a time when identically layered and coloured haircuts are the norm, if a girl wears her black shiny hair down to the waist, it will immediately set her apart as a beauty.

NO NEED TO OUTSMART MEN

Given that you are well-read and abreast of current affairs, you don’t need to dominate every conversation, unless you like the epithet Ms-Know-It-All. An overly independent woman can be overwhelming and you are not giving the man a chance to find out more about you by himself.

SPEAK SOFTLY

Trilling loudly does not have the same appeal as soft conversation which forces the listener to bend towards you. It also gets attention as a conspiratorial whisper, goading intimacy. A shrill tenor, on the other hand, makes you want to run in the other direction. But since this means the man will have to lean towards you to get what you are saying, carry a mint and wear an attractive lipstick.

DON'T SCOFF AT ARRANGED DATES

You may think it contrite, but much good can come out of a match when the fixers know both people in question. Make sure you meet over dinner or brunch. A social setting will also let you gauge your date. If he is cheap about the outing, chances are that he may not be generous in other areas also.

PLAY HARD TO GET

Many women complain that casual dates end up in the bed. You need to exude a nonchalance, even if, and especially if, you are badly hooked. Don’t be available for impromptu dates and never reply immediately to a major commitment question. Always ask for time to think about it to show that you are nobody’s doormat.

LISTEN MORE, SPEAK LESS

Appear to be interested in what he’s saying. Not only does a man love being the centre of attention, it also makes you look enigmatic and mysterious. It doesn’t mean that you don’t display your conversation skills, but it’s more appealing when he asks you about yourself rather than you yapping on.

THREE’S A CROWD, BUT NOT FOUR

When he insists on having dinner with other people, show him you are game. Go out with others, but drop subtle hints about what a good time you are having so that he knows what he’s missing. Remember when Prince William and Kate Middleton broke up? Instead of sitting at home making blank calls to him, she went out and had a good time, making sure her smiling face and miles of legs were caught by the paparazzi. It worked. William crawled back to her and they’ve been going strong since.

CHARM THE PARENTS

While winning over a man, don’t forget to charm the people who count for him. Before securing her place in the Pataudi household, Kareena spent time bonding with Saif ’s children, knowing how much that would influence her relationship with their father. She’s also rumoured to have won over Sharmila’s heart. If your aim is a solitaire ring, turn on the charm for the people who will influence his decision to get you one.

KEEP OPTIONS OPEN

Don’t have any qualms about keeping your options open. You may be seeing each other three times a week, but you aren’t hooked, booked and cooked until you say ‘I do’. Hang out with other men. It may not be laudable behaviour, but it might get you lasting happiness in the long term. If not, it will at least make you more appreciative of the man you have.

Know your body - Aches

Here we discuss about six aches you shouldn’t ignore.

STOMACH ACHE

Tummy trouble is common in metros, where people have irregular eating hours and there is also the temptation of street food. If you’re a woman of child-bearing age, a stomach ache could even signal an ovarian cyst. A persistent stomach ache, which only gets worse such that the pain then trickles down to your lower back, is a cause for concern. Often some pain may be accompanied by problems in bowel movements — constipation or diarrhoea. The best way to rule out the possibility of a cyst is to get an ultrasound which can detect it. If caught early, an oral tablet can take care of the situation. However, if the cyst grows in size then a key-hole surgery may be required.

BACKACHE

Most of us suffer from backache. Working all day on the computer only aggravates the problem. However, if your backache starts radiating downwards to the genitals and is no longer a dull ache but a sharp pain, then you need to see your doctor as soon as possible. Sometimes the pain may last for just a few minutes, at other times it may last for hours on end. Such piercing pain could be the result of kidney stones, which usually affects adults. It can be detected by means of an X-ray, ultrasound and urine examination.

JAW PAIN

Have you ever felt this annoying dull ache in the jaw? In most cases, it is because the temporomandibular joint (jaw joint) is overworked and the pain usually fades away with time. However, if it’s repetitive and accompanied by a clicking sound as you open and close your mouth, it could point to injury of the jaw joint. A general physician can detect the problem with an X-ray. Treatment lies in oral medication.

JOINT PAIN

Most adults over 50 years of age complain of pain in the joints. Commonly, this is a dull ache in the knees which increases with movement or a similar ache in the small joints of the fingers on any sort of hand movement. If the pain persists and increases, then you need to see an orthopaedic physician immediately. An X-ray and a bone density test can point to osteo-arthritis or rheumatoid arthritis which are both degenerative diseases of the bone. These problems are more common in women than in men, as bone density often decreases after menopause. The disease cannot be completely cured but its progression can be halted through physiotherapy and the use of steroids. In extreme cases knee-replacement surgery may be required.

PAIN IN THE BIG TOE

Pain in the big toe points to gout. Gout results from excess uric acid crystals deposited in the joints. Over a period of time, the pain becomes excruciating and affects movement. The problem is more common in adults above 30 years of age. Gout can be detected through X-ray and blood test and treatment involves oral medication.

PAIN AROUND THE TEMPLES

Often a headache is just that — a self-limiting ache in the head. However, if the pain is restricted to the temples and is a piercing pain, you need to see a doctor as it could be temporal arthritis. The condition is more likely to occur in adults over 50 and is repetitive at regular interval, at times lasting just a few minutes. During this time, the blood vessels of the scalp get dilated and the temples are sensitive to touch. Treatment involves the use of steroids.

Most common vaginal woes

THE DOS AND DON’TS OF BIKINI WAXING

Models do it, actresses do it and now even the youngsters have caught onto this trend. Bikini waxing is a method of depilating pubic hair. As preparation, make sure your hair is not too long or too short, choose an experienced person for waxing, you could pop a pain killer (one hour before heading to the parlour) and wear comfortable cotton underwear after waxing. Some women may develop folliculitis (pimple-like boils) post waxing and may require antibiotics for the same. There are other less painful ways of maintaining hygiene — clipping hair with a sterlised scissor, shaving and laser treatment.


DESPITE MAINTAINING HYGIENE, THERE’S ODOUR IN THE VAGINAL AREA

Odour from the vagina could be due to vaginal infections that is either fungal, trichomonial or bacterial. It is generally accompanied with vaginal discharge which could be curdy white, lacy white discharge with greenish discolouration (in trichomonial infection) or thick creamish discharge as in the case of bacterial infection. All these are sexually transmitted infections which need to be treated with antifungal or antibacterial medications. Post-treatment, maintain regular hygiene by washing the area twice a day.


SHOULD YOU BLEED THE FIRST TIME YOU HAVE SEX?

All women have a hymen which is at the opening of the vagina. This hymen may tear in childhood during vigorous exercises, cycling, jumping or due to masturbation. If intact, the woman will bleed while having sex for the first time. However bleeding does not indicate virginity in a female as it can be ruptured by other factors as well.


YOUR SATIN UNDERWEAR GIVES YOU AN ITCHY SENSATION AROUND THE VAGINA

Itchy sensation around the vagina could be due to vaginal infections. It could also be an allergy to satin underwear or sanitary pads. It is advisable to use comfortable cotton underwear. Sweat combined with synthetic material causes itchiness and irritation. To combat this, wash the area frequently and use unscented talcum powder.


YOU SUFFER WHITE DISCHARGE AROUND A WEEK BEFORE PERIODS AND FEEL WEAK

White discharge before periods is due to progesterone effect on the cervical mucous. Around this time the vagina secretes a harmless white fluid. If the discharge does not emit a foul odour or cause itching, do not feel afraid. Many people associate it with weakness, but that is just a myth. You could say the stress that comes with PMSing makes you feel weak.


WEARING SANITARY PADS GIVES YOU SEVERE RASHES. TAMPONS TOO ARE UNCOMFORTABLE

Modern day synthetic sanitary pads are known to do that. Ultrathin sanitary pads use a material that transforms menstrual blood into gel. This gives us a pseudo-dry feel and hence the less frequent change of pads. These pads, when come in constant contact with the skin, create rashes and an itchy sensation. Tampons is certainly not the way to go, as there have been cases of it causing severe vaginal infections. The way out is to use cotton sanitary pads and a frequent change every four hours.


IS IT NORMAL TO URINATE AFTER HAVING SEX?

The sexual act in some women may lead to a burning sensation in the vagina. This can be due to lack of lubrication or a yeast infection, both of which cause frequent urination. This condition is known as honeymoon cystitis. Here there is an infection of the urinary tract. Most cases call for a detailed gynaecological checkup for the couple.


SMALL WHITE PIMPLES APPEAR ALL AROUND THE VAGINA. WILL IT AFFECT FUTURE SEX LIFE?

White pimples may be due to folliculitis or molluscum contagiosum. Folliculitis can happen due to infection after shaving. Molluscum is a viral skin infection. Both can be treated with antibiotics. Sometimes occurrence of white pimples also symbolises herpes genitalis — an STD which calls for urgent treatment