Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making
dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to
tell his mother what he wanted."Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."
Little Johny was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Johny's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for
his birthday. Little Johnny, of course, thought he did.
Johnny's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the last year and write a letter to God and tell him why he deserved a bike for his birthday.
Little Johnny stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write
God a letter.
LETTER 1:
Dear God, I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Johnny
Johnny knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
LETTER 2:
Dear God, This is your friend Johnny. I have been a pretty good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you,
Johnny
Johnny knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the letter and started again.
LETTER 3:
Dear God, I have been an OK boy this year and I would really like a red bike for my birthday.
Johnny
Johnny knew he could not send this letter to God either . Johnny
was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go
church.
"Just be home in time for dinner", his mother said.
Johnny walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there.
He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary and slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the
street, into his house, and up to his room.
He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and
a pen. Johnny began to write his letter to God.
LETTER 4:
I'VE GOT YOUR MOM. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.
Signed
YOU KNOW WHO
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Letter to God
Three Women In Mexico
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Brigham Young University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."
They throw the switch and nothing happens.
They all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent."
They throw the switch and again, nothing happens.
Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her.
The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from Texas A & M and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."
9 months later
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob.
So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in
a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm
and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to
myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors
will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn.
And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way
to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning,
the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an
attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out,
but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of
that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked,
"Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow
from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north
about 9 months ago?"
"Yes, I do." said Bob
"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night,
go up to the house and pay her a visit?"
"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out,
"I have to admit that I did."
"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm
afraid I did." "Why do you ask?"
"She just died and left me everything."
*-*-*-*-*-*
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Think before you speak...
Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word..
he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."
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THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY :
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped
what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when
the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked
my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up,
yanked down his pants,
bent over,
spread his cheeks
and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
*-*-*-*-*-*
Why You Should Always Wear Underwear
Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle...From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead
Desktop Yoga For The Legs
Exercises that will help you improve flexibility and blood circulation
Exercise 1
• Stretch both legs out as shown
• Stretch both arms up and slowly stretch forward, dropping the head onto the knees
• Hold on to the posture for 10 - 25 seconds and release
• Repeat the same movement five times.
Exercise 2
• Hold the arms of the chair, keeping the back straight
• Raise one leg and stretch the toes forward and then bend them inwards
• Hold on to the posture for 10 - 25 seconds and release
• Repeat the same action with the other leg
• Repeat the same movement five times.
Exercise 3
• Holding the arms of the chair, raise both legs
• Bend the toes inwards
• Hold on to the posture for 10 - 25 seconds and release
• Now keep the legs in the same position and stretch the toes and foot outwards
• Repeat same movement five times.
Exercise 4
• Keeping one leg on the ground, raise one knee up towards the chest keeping the back straight
• Hold the leg with both arms; gently pull towards chest as shown for 10 - 25 seconds and release
• Repeat the same action with the other leg
• Repeat the movement five times.
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Want A Lean, Sexy Body?
Imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger with skinny legs, Sylvester Stallone with spaghetti arms or Angelina Jolie with a flabby backside.
Would it help if I told you these body beautiful stars began with a dream like yours and the desire to make it happen? This only means that owning an attention-drawing body is within your power too!
Let this guide be your first step on the path of better health. The added benefit? It will give you that lean and sexy body you've always wanted!
Before you start, consider these points:
1. Get a physician's approval if you have a past injury or an impairment.
2. Set realistic goals for yourself and stay focused on them. A routine will always be more successful if it has some direction.
3. Give yourself at least three months before making any judgements about your progress. Sculpting your body takes time. So let's not be impatient.
4. Everyone is always looking for a secret to good health and that hot body. That secret can be summed up in one word: Consistency.
5. Perform your exercise routine with 100 percent effort.
6. Adopt good nutrition habits.
7. Follow a fitness-oriented lifestyle day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year!
Now we are ready to begin.
Ladies, hold on to your hearts. Gents, hold on to your wallets. There's a new breed of man and woman about to emerge. And they are gonna be drop dead sexy!
The exercise triangle
Exercise is a three-sided concept:
? Weight training
? Aerobics
? Flexibility and stretching
~ Weight training
This is possibly the most misunderstood of the three concepts.
When most people hear the words 'weight training', they envision men and women who have achieved a body of gigantic proportions and immediately get put off.
But weight training also refers to the type of training that can change your body in ways you never thought possible.
It can make you more muscular and stronger. In addition, it will -- surprise, surprise! -- convert your body into a fat-burning machine more efficiently than aerobics or any other form of exercise.
How does it do that?
One word: Metabolism!
Metabolism is the rate at which we burn calories during the day, whether at exercising or at rest.
Muscles are the body's metabolically active tissue.
Thus, the more lean muscle we have, the faster our metabolism. Those who have lean muscle burn more calories, irrespective of whether they are slaving at the treadmill or sitting on their muscular derrières.
What's the best way to increase our lean muscle mass?
Good ol' weight training!
~ Aerobic exercise
It is defined as exercise that takes place in the presence of oxygen.
Aerobic exercise is a worldwide favourite.
It aids the fat loss process by burning calories during the workout session.
Aerobics is also important to develop a healthy heart and circulatory system. Your choice of aerobic exercise depends on what you enjoy most.
So whether you are tying those shoelaces to head out for a brisk walk or getting ready to take a dive into that pool, it is all good.
Just make sure you DO IT!
~ Flexibilty and stretching
This is an often neglected but very important component of exercise.
Tight and inflexible muscles impair your blood flow. This, in turn, impairs muscle contraction and function.
As muscle tension builds up over the years, it could lead to problems in your spine and joints as well.
So don't forget to S-T-R-E-T-C-H your way to many more pain and injury free years of activity!
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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT BIRD FLU
1. What is Bird Flu?
illness. All birds are thought to be susceptible to bird flu, though some species are more resistant
to infection than others. Some forms of bird flu can cause illness to humans.
2. What causes bird flu?
birds Viruses which cause mild disease can mutate into viruses that can cause serious disease
(highly pathogenic).
To date, all outbreaks of the highly pathogenic form have been caused by Influenza A /H5N1
virus, the only subtype that cause severe disease in humans.
3. How is bird flu transmitted in chickens and other birds?
? Direct contact with discharges from infected birds, especially feces and respiratory
secretions
? Contaminated feed, water, cages equipment, vehicles and clothing
? Clinically normal waterfowl and sea birds my introduce the virus into flocks
? Eggs from infected hens can break and contaminate incubators
Birds that survive infection excrete virus for at least 10 days, orally and in feces. Highly
pathogenic viruses can survive for long periods in tissue, water and the environment, especially
when temperatures are low.
4. How do outbreaks of bird flu spread within the country?
1. Domestic birds can get the infection when they:
? roam freely
? share water supply with wild birds
? use a water supply that might be contaminated by infected droppings
2. Contaminated equipment, vehicles, feeds, cages, or clothing, especially shoes can carry
the virus from farm to farm
3. Wet markets where live chickens and other birds are sold under crowded and sometimes
unsanitary conditions
5. How is bird flu transmitted to humans?
chickens through infected aerosols, discharges and surfaces.
A person handling or taking care infected chickens or came near or inside a poultry or market
where there are sick chickens can inhale the particles from dried discharges or feces with the bird flu virus.
Discharges can get in contact with the nose or eyes of a person handling infected chickens.
There is no reported case of bird flu in humans after handling dressed chicken. Since the virus
is easily inactivated by heat, one does not get bird flu from thoroughly cooked chicken meat.
There is no evidence of human-to- human transmission.
6. Why are we concerned with bird flu?
There are a number of reasons why we are concerned with bird flu:
? Bird flu or Avian influenza (AI) causes serious illness and death in humans
? Avian and human influenza viruses can recombine to form a totally new influenza A virus
which is capable of spreading from person to person and from which the human
population do not have protection
? AI causes severe epidemics and mass death of chickens affecting the poultry industry.
7. What are the signs and symptoms of bird flu in chickens?
Infection causes a wide spectrum of symptoms in birds, ranging from mild illness to a highly
contagious and rapidly fatal disease resulting in severe epidemics.
? Decrease in activity
? Drastic decline in egg production
? Facial swelling with swollen and bluish-violet colored combs and wattles
? Hemorrhages on internal membrane surfaces
? Virus isolation needed for definitive diagnosis
? Gasping for breath
? Muscle
? Weakness/paralysis
? Diarrhea
? Sudden deaths (mortality that can reach 100%)
8. What are the signs and symptoms of bird flu in humans?
Bird flu is very similar to other influenza viruses. Initial symptoms are :
? Fever
? Muscle weakness and/or pain
? Sore throat and cough
? Sore eyes (conjunctivitis) is seen in some patients
? Causes of death and complications are:
? Severe viral pneumonia
? Respiratory distress syndrome
? Multi- organ failure
9. Since there are so many cases of influenza, pneumonia or any other respiratory illness, when does one suspect that the patient is a case of bird flu?
One suspects that a patient with influenza or pneumonia or any other respiratory illness is a
case of bird flu avian influenza if the patient has had direct or indirect contact through handling or having taken care or getting near sick chickens or other birds.
A laboratory confirmation of the bird flu infection and epidemiologic link with unusual death or
epidemics of chickens will support the diagnosis of bird flu.
10. What is the treatment of bird flu?
Treatment for H5N1 infection is essentially the same as for other influenza viruses. Antiviral
drugs, some of which can be used for both treatment and prevention, are clinically effective
against influenza A virus strains in otherwise healthy adults and children, but have some
limitations. Some of these drugs are also expensive and supplies are limited.
11. Is there a vaccine against bird flu?
No. The vaccine currently available against the circulating strains in humans will not protect
from the disease caused by H5N1. However, it is recommended for individuals who are
potentially exposed to bird flu like poultry handlers, workers and breeders to prevent
recombination of avian with the human influenza virus.
12. How do we prevent bird flu?
The ban on importation of live chickens and other poultry products from countries affected with
bird flu is a critical step to prevent the entry of bird flu into the country.
For poultry caretakers and handlers of chickens and other birds:
? Avoid contact of poultry with wild birds, in particular waterfowl
? Control human traffic into poultry farms
? Practice proper hand washing and cleaning and disinfection procedures in poultries
? Report to authorities any unusual death or illness of chickens and other birds
? Report to authorities any illness among the workers in poultry farms
For the general public:
? Thoroughly wash hands with soap and water before and after handling chicken meat
? Clean kitchen surfaces and utensils before and after use
? Cook chicken well by seeing to it that the boiling temperature is reached
? Do not sell live chickens in the market while there is a threat of bird flu.
? Do not let chickens roam freely. Keep them in cages or pens.
? Do not place chickens, ducks and pigs together in one area, cage or pen.
? Do not catch, get near or keep in captivity wild birds.
? Report to authorities any unusual death or illness of chickens and other birds
? Report to authorities any case of respiratory illness with history of exposure to sick or
dead chickens and other birds
13. What should Local Government Officials do?
? Monitor and apprehend smuggling activities and illegal trading of poultry like game fowl,
breeders and wild birds coming from countries affected by bird flu.
? Pass and enforce local ordinances on the ff:
o prohibition of live chickens in the market while there is a threat of bird flu
o not allowing chickens to roam freely
o prohibition of placing chickens, ducks and pigs together in one area,
cages or pens
? Provide correct information to the community.
? Advise public not to catch, get near or keep in captivity wild birds
? Coordinate with the local agricultural office for any unusual death or sickness of chicken
and other fowl.
? Coordinate with the nearest health worker for any suspected case of bird flu.
14. How is infection with H5N1 virus in humans treated?
Two antiviral medications commonly used for treatment of patients with avian influenza Antiviral medications, oseltamivir (Tamiflu)and zanamavir, would probably work to treat influenza caused by H5N1 virus, but additional studies are needed to demonstrate their current and ongoing effectiveness.
15. Is there a vaccine to protect humans from H5N1 virus?
There currently is no commercially available vaccine to protect humans against the H5N1 virus
that is being detected in Asia and Europe. However, vaccine development efforts are taking
place. Research studies to test a vaccine that will protect humans against H5N1 virus began in
April 2005, and a series of clinical trials is under way.
16. HOW CAN I TELL WHETHER I HAVE REGULAR FLU OR BIRD FLU?
Your chance of contracting the H5N1 virus is currently almost nonexistent unless you've been
near sick birds or have eaten undercooked poultry in regions afflicted by the virus. That said,
here's how avian flu differs from seasonal flu: While both generally cause high fever and
coughing, bird flu does not usually produce the runny nose, inflamed sinuses, or upper-
respiratory congestion typical of seasonal flu. Instead, the sickness often advances rapidly to
pneumonia, which is the most common cause of death.
17. DO FLU DRUGS OR ANY MEDICATIONS WORK AGAINST BIRD FLU?
Animal studies suggest that two prescription drugs—oseltamivir (Tamiflu) pills and zanamivir
(Relenza), an inhaled medication—may reduce the severity of the illness. Limited experience in
humans suggests that starting treatment early may boost the chance of survival. However, higher
doses and longer treatment may be required for bird flu than for ordinary flu. And in at least two
patients, the H5N1 virus has developed resistance to oseltamivir. Currently, the H5N1 virus is
clearly resistant to an older class of flu drugs, including rimantadine (Flumadine) and amantadine
(Symmetrel).
18. SHOULD I STOCK UP ON THE NEWER ANTI-VIRAL DRUGS?
That's a bad idea. You should use oseltamivir and zanamivir only if your doctor confirms the
diagnosis. With a private supply available at home, you or your family members could be tempted
to take the medicine when it's not needed, for instance, when you just have a bad cold. That
needlessly exposes you to possible side effects and, on a broader scale, it may increase
resistance to the drug. Moreover, private hoarding could worsen current worldwide shortages and
hamper efforts to make emergency supplies available to people who need them the most.
19. WOULD ANY SUPPLEMENTS HELP?
Beware of sales pitches for formulas and supplements claiming to protect you from bird flu.
20. CAN MASKS OR ANYTHING ELSE HELP PROTECT ME?
A disposable mask which is rated N-95 or higher and that fits tightly over your nose and mouth
can prevent inhalation of virus-bearing droplets from a cough or sneeze. In a pandemic, it would
make sense to wear one in trains, buses, and other crowded places. Simple hand washing
provides significant protection against flu viruses of all kinds. Using soap and warm, running
water, rub your hands together vigorously for 15 to 20 seconds before eating or preparing meals
and after using the bathroom or blowing your nose.
21. WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT A POSSIBLE QUARANTINE?
Most likely recommended is voluntary home quarantines, with exposed individuals checking
themselves for fever and reporting early symptoms to public-health authorities. If you're exposed
to a sick person, your quarantine time would depend on the incubation period of the particular
influenza: about four to seven days for seasonal flu, up to eight days or maybe longer for bird flu.
22. IS IT SAFE TO TRAVEL ?
There's no reason not to, provided you take certain precautions. Travelers to areas with known
outbreaks of H5N1 should avoid contact with chickens, ducks, and geese, live food markets, and
other places likely to be contaminated with poultry or other animal excrement. And make sure
your food is well cooked: Poultry should be heated until the interior is no longer pink, and eggs
until the yolk is firm.
23. Is it safe to travel to countries affected with bird flu?
Bird flu is not transmitted from one person to another. Individuals at risk are those are directly
or indirectly exposed to sick chickens and other fowl. Advice for travelers to countries affected
with bird flu is not to go to bird parks (aviaries), poultry farms or market where live poultry is sold.
Take care
*-*-*-*-*-*
The Art Of Packing A Suitcase
It's always fun to go away on holiday. What isn't fun are the peripheries that come with it -- booking your itinerary, the rush for cheap tickets, trying to find a hotel room in some obscure Spanish town, and of course, packing.
There is one thing you can do that will bypass all other problems when it comes to the latter -- get someone else to do it for you. If this doesn't work, here are some other tips. First, lay out all the clothes you want to take so you know exactly what you have to fit into the suitcase.
Be realistic -- you know that if the clothes you've laid out have covered your bedroom floor, the landing outside, and have even gone halfway down the stairs, you're probably not going to be able to fit it into the suitcase. Be strong -- discard the fripperies.
After you've done this, it's like a military manoeuvre. You need a strategy, and you can't be afraid to make sacrifices. Remember to pack anything you need for the plane -- contact lens cases, face wash or toothbrushes for instance -- and any valuables into your carry-on bag.
It sometimes also makes a lot of sense to carry a change of clothing, if your suitcase makes it to another destination than you. (If you're traveling with someone else, try and put some of your clothing into their bag and some of their clothing into your bag to minimize risk).
Also, try to carry anything liquid that could possibly spill and ruin all your clothes either in your handbag, or else wrap it up very tight in a plastic bag, and put it between soft things like towels or cotton balls in your suitcase. Not your cashmere jumper though -- that might tempt fate.
The one vital tip that's always helped me out when I'm panicking two hours before I have to catch a flight is to roll. Rolling your clothes helps to save space, and also keeps out wrinkles. You need to roll the clothes tightly, and you can even lay them into each other, a T-shirt into a long-sleeved shirt, for instance.
Now, when you start packing the suitcase, the first thing you have to do, obviously, is to lay out anything at the bottom that you haven't rolled. I always put my jeans and other trousers at the very bottom, and flatten them out completely -- although some prefer to roll them also.
I usually put my shoes in next, wrapped in shoe bags or plastic (some people like to pack things into their shoes as well), and then layer and fit tops after that. If you're laying shirts flat, shirt sleeves should be folded inward. Small things should be tucked into empty spaces -- any empty space will make things roll around in your suitcase, and you won't be able to recognise anything when you open your suitcase again.
Any big books are also better off at the bottom -- and don't forget these altogether, otherwise you'll be faced with a perfectly packed suitcase and then nowhere to put your Guide to Every Single Thing You Could Ever Possibly Want to See in Rome... And Some Things You Don't. If you're like me, much swearing, jumping on said suitcase and breaking things against walls will follow -- won't really change anything though.
If you're packing for a business trip, or need some formal dresses, it's always better to take them in a separate garment bag. That way they won't wrinkle, and most can be folded on top of your clothes in your suitcase. It'll also save space.
This is one tip that always gets thrown around, but one I've never been able to put to the test (if you can, please tell me how). The trick, if you like to shop, is to fill up some of your bags with clothes that are on their last legs.
The point being, apparently, that you can always throw them away if you need to make more space for things you've bought. This has never worked for me, I'm not sure whether it's because I shop too much or because I can never throw clothes away. My tip is, if you know you're going to shop, to carry an extra duffel bag in your suitcase (remember the airline rules about how much weight they allow each passenger, though).
If you're still struggling, it's best to keep a few things in mind. Kicking your suitcase never helps. Sitting on it, on the other hand, sometimes does. Also remember that if you can't lift it up yourself, it's probably not a great idea to take it.
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6 Investing Mistakes You MUST Avoid
From the growing number of portfolios that our readers send us for evaluation, we have identified the most common mistakes.
Simply avoiding (or rectifying) them should put you on the right track.
1. Haphazard investing
Have a holistic view to investment rather than a piece-meal approach.
Often, investments are made with no proper planning or goal in mind. Instead, factors like year-end tax planning and availability of surplus money at a given point of time guide investment decisions.
People judge the investment worthiness of an avenue right at the moment of making the investment. Naturally, the conditions prevailing at that time take priority.
For example, if stock markets are in the doldrums at the time of investment, instruments like the National Savings Certificate are chosen. If the market is booming, then diversified equity funds would probably be given preference.
In the end, the portfolio (all investments put together) totally lacks focus.
2. Getting swayed by the hot winners
No one is saying that picking the right fund is an easy task. But investors have a tendency to get carried away with the hot-performing funds of the day.
Don't blindly buy the units of the latest top-performing fund. Instead, consider long-term, consistent returns. Always compare the returns over various time periods: five year returns, three-year returns, one-year returns, three-month returns and one-month returns.
A hot fund may have a great three-month and one-month return but very low three-year returns. In such instances, think carefully.
3. Too many funds
Don't become a funds collector.
More funds do not translate into greater safety. Pick a select number of funds you believe in and invest in them consistently.
Don't get swayed by the new funds hitting the market just because your agent says so.
Having a long list of funds in your portfolio ensures nothing but complexity.
4. Too few funds
While some have the problem of plenty, others lean towards having too little. Permitting just two funds to determine your financial fortunes might not be a good idea.
In The best funds to invest in, we spoke about breaking up investments into core funds and non-core funds.
In our opinion, two to four equity funds and one or two debt funds are quite enough for each type of fund.
Let's say you want to invest in a debt fund (funds that invest in fixed return investments), floating rate debt funds (funds that invest in fixed return investments whose rate of interest varies with the interest rates in the economy), large-cap diversified equity funds (funds that invest in the shares of large-cap companies of various sectors) and mid-cap funds (funds that invest in mid-cap stocks).
The number of funds we suggest in each category is:
Short term debt fund: 1
Floating rate debt fund: 1
Large-cap equity funds: 3
Mid-cap funds: 3
5. Turning a blind eye
If you have a long-term perspective in mind, you are right in investing in equity mutual funds.
But, as you get closer to your deadline, it is time to gradually start selling your units and put them in fixed return investments. Imagine if you had to sell your units in the year 2000, when all the diversified equity funds had slumped.
To avoid unpleasant surprises, as your date approaches, gradually start selling and move to other investment avenues.
6. Losing focus
Investing regularly in a few good funds is all you need to do. But, sometimes, the funds you have selected may not gel well together.
For example, you might have invested in a diversified equity fund and then in a mid-cap fund. But the diversified equity fund that you have invested in may have a large amount of mid-cap stocks.
Now, your total investments will be largely in mid-caps and this may not be what you want at all.
Or, you may invest in a diversified equity fund and a tech fund. But the diversified equity fund may already have a huge amount invested in tech stocks. Now, your investments are tech heavy and, if the sector slumps, you will be badly hit.
Always look carefully at the fund's portfolio.
Avoid these six common mistakes and you are well on your way to becoming a savvy fund investor.
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10 Tips To Manage A Global Project
A recent study shows 90 per cent of large companies are engaged in global projects. Ironically less than one third of them have effective, established practices to help project managers and team members communicate, collaborate and coordinate with each other.
Global projects should allow organisations to take advantage of distributed skills, around-the-clock operations and virtual team environments.
Currently many of these organisations struggle to reach the required levels of quality and effectiveness from these projects because their structure and their methodologies are not adapted to a global multi-cultural environment, where most communication is in writing and asynchronous.
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Purpose
This article describes how organisations can adopt simple steps and procedures for projects to thrive in global project management. It also considers the differences, from project manager's perspective; between managing a global project and managing one where all involved are co-located within easy reach.
Visualising the goals
Performance Bonus: Clearly define global goals and goals for the countries/functions/business units where the project is going to have an impact.
These sub-goals must be:
1. Fully aligned with, and contributing to, the global goals
2. Agreed with the country/functional/business unit sub-project manager who will be delivering them.
3. Agreed with the country sponsor if local funding is required
4. Validated, in the country, for compliance with local culture and legislation
Getting Step 1 right is critical for the success of any project. The following sub-steps will assist you to get it right on your global project.
1. Global project scoping
Work with the global project sponsor and steering committee to determine the high-level scope and goals. You must also identify the key functions and countries that will be impacted by the project.
2. Appoint sub-project managers
Now is the time to appoint sub-project managers not when you realize that you are disappearing without trace! You must have sub-project managers in each of the key functional areas and countries identified in your global scope. The country sub-project managers must be based in the country to ensure that they understand local culture and practice.
3. Sub-project scoping
Each of the sub-project managers will now scope their sub-projects. You will manage this to ensure that they are cascading down from the global scope. This exercise is likely to lead to changes in the global scope and you will control this. To ensure buy-in and commitment the sub-project scope documents should be reviewed and approved by
management in the country or function.
4. Review and approval
You now have a Work Breakdown Structure that scopes the project from a macro, global level to a micro, country/function level. This should be reviewed and approved by the global project sponsor and steering committee. This may seem like excessive effort for one step however being an experienced project manager you know what happens if you cut corners at the scoping stage.
5. Make a list of the jobs that need to be done
This is best done using a matrix approach that captures all of the functions and countries identified in Step 1 and drills down from the scoping done in Step 1.
1. Business Unit/Country All Countries Country A Country B
2. All Functions
3. R & D
4. Logistics
5. Finance
This step is complete when every cell in the matrix has both an owner and a list of jobs preferably compiled by the owner. The owner should be either the functional sub-project manager or the country sub-project manager. You cannot afford to own more than a handful of cells if you are to manage the global project effectively.
Benefits of the Approach
1. You will not miss any major jobs - either generic or national.
2. It provides a task breakdown structure with both detailed and high-level views.
3. It gives you an opportunity to assess the sub-project manager's ability and willingness to contribute.
4. The sub-project managers get buy-in at the planning stage.
5. It demonstrates that you are the global project manager and overall trail boss.
Either you or the project sponsor can compare the costs and benefits of implementing the project in Country X and make informed decisions on how best to proceed.
Some tasks, for example user training, are likely to feature across all sub-projects. You should identify these tasks and ensure that experiences are shared across the sub-projects.
In addition to the tasks that you would expect based on the scope there are likely to be additional tasks to satisfy national legal and cultural requirements.
In some industries in India for example, any project that involves significant organisational change requires lengthy consultation with the union. Your country sub-project managers must understand that you require them to include these tasks and that local management should be consulted if they have any doubts about such issues.
On completion of this step you should have a detailed, cascaded list of tasks for the project and all of the sub-projects.
6. There must be one leader
It is very important to establish one's leadership in the early stages of project endeavor. Hopefully you have got off to a good start in Steps 1 & 2 both by inspiring confidence in the sub-project managers and by demonstrating your leadership abilities to the project sponsor giving her a feeling of confidence that you can trail boss the project.
Leadership is like justice, it must be seen to happen! This is particularly important on a
global project where communication should be effective, regular and is critical.
You also demonstrate your leadership, particularly to the sub-project managers, by working with them in a no blame manner to take effective corrective action when problems arise and by mentoring them if that is appropriate.
Shooting the messenger is even dumber on a global project than it is normally! If you don't have a warm feeling that you are in charge of all global activities you must address the issues now or else you are putting both the project and your job at risk.
7. Assign people to jobs
If you adopted the matrix approach recommended in Steps 1 & 2 this should be straightforward since the sub-project managers will do most of the assignment.
Auditing the plans and providing feedback to the sub-project managers
Preparing a consolidated global plan
Continuing your assessment of the sub-project managers, this is your final opportunity to make changes before the implementation phase commences
Continuing to demonstrate that you are the overall trail boss
This is also a suitable time for you to ensure that your project infrastructure is appropriate to the size of the project. This may involve setting up a project office with project coordinators, finance staff and a communications prime.
Given that global projects generally cross several financial reporting lines you should meet with finance management to ensure that there will be adequate financial reporting for the project.
8. Manage expectations / allow a margin for error
Fallback position You should now have:
A detailed, cost consolidated global project plan.
A consolidated risk register with both your assessment and the sub-project managers assessment.
A consolidated open issues log again both yours and the sub-project managers.
Your assessment of the sub-project managers.
Your audit of the plans in Step 4 ensured that the sub-project managers had included adequate contingency.
Prepare a number of implementation scenarios.
While you need to take account of business drivers your preferred approach is to deliver early successes by commencing the implementation in countries that you have identified as high added value (significant benefits, low risk and low cost).
Any country where you have concerns about the sub-project manager's ability to deliver is high risk and should be kept well down the list. Address cost concerns by using your matrix from Step 2 to highlight countries that are low added value.
Review these implementation scenarios with the sponsor/steering committee
You have been keeping your sponsor and the key stakeholders fully informed so there should be no surprises here. Presenting a range of implementation scenarios both forces them to make the difficult decisions and demonstrates that you are on top of the project.
Get sign-off on the plan
Stand firm and ensure reality prevails! You then do all of the usual things, calculate your PSI, and communicate with the teams etc. as you move from planning to implementation.
Use an appropriate leadership style
This may involve using a different leadership style for each country. You can only lead effectively if you have the time and space to do so in Step 4. The sub-project managers will probably not report to you
The motivation for them to deliver is that they are part of a high profile, winning team and that you are developing their skills by transferring knowledge to them.
Key leadership issues to consider
Communication
This is so important I make no apology for mentioning it repeatedly. You will be managing a virtual team and you will probably never have a face-to-face meeting with your sub-project managers.
Virtual Meetings
Audio conference calls are valuable but need to be chaired effectively to avoid time wasting. If your company does not have audio conference facilities there are service providers who provide conferencing facilities.
There are a number of Internet based software packages that allow you to share information such as project plans during conference calls. I find this combination very effective and I tend to avoid videoconferences. I don't like them and they are very expensive.
Direct Communication
Electronic mail and regular telephone calls are likely to be your main contact with your sub-project managers. Don't rely exclusively on electronic mail - telephone calls often provide valuable early warning signs.
Broadcast Communications
In addition to your regular status reports you also need to communicate with a larger audience about the project. How you do this depends both on the culture within your company and the technology available.
The conventional wisdom is that you set-up a website and leave it at that. This might work if your target audience obediently bookmark your website and check it regularly. My preference is to set-up a website and sends regular broadcast e-mails with a summary of the project and hyperlinks to the website for those who require more information.
One of the benefits of this is that people will respond to e-mails providing valuable two-way communication.
Time zones
The biggest single difference you are likely to encounter between managing a local project and a global project is time zones. This permeates all project activities, I have chosen to discuss it here because time zone management is one of the key skill sets you will need.
It is imperative, that you factor in time zone differences in the contingency. In addition, synchronise the working hours of groups who need constant interaction, for example by getting one group to work from 14:00 to 22:00 daily.
Doing this for even a short period can have a major impact on your critical path. Clearly this is a sensitive issue and needs to be discussed with those affected, with line management and with human resources.
You also need to consider how you will be contactable by your sub-project managers in other time zones - without spending 24 hours a day at your desk. The best option is to set-up a home office with links to your company's telephone and computer systems. This enables you, for example, to participate in a conference call from 21:00 to 22:00 at home. If this set-up is not possible a mobile phone is the next option.
Know what's going on
If you don't believe you are getting accurate information from a particular country you have two options.
Provide assistance or replacement
Send somebody you know and trust out there to provide you with accurate information. You should include a certain amount of travel in your project budget to cater for situations like this.
If the sub-project manager is enthusiastic but inexperienced then the person you parachute in should support and advise the sub-project manager who remains, at least nominally, in charge. This is the preferred option.
Scope reduction
Take the country out of scope this is one of the contingency/fallback options that you discussed with your sponsor during Step 5. Regardless how you communicate this it will be perceived as a failure by the country sub-project manger and may lead to action from management in the country.
You should ensure that both the country sub-project manager and his line manager fully understand what you intend doing and are given an opportunity to take corrective action.
Tell people what's going on
Again you need to be attuned to cultural sensitivities particularly when communicating bad news. While a certain amount of competition between countries can be good for the project you need to be careful to avoid stirring up nationalistic jingoism.
9. Repeat Steps 1 through 8 until Step 10
Nothing much to say about this provided you have followed my advice in the earlier steps and mapped out discrete phases and milestones with the low risk milestones in close and the high-risk milestones a long way out.
In addition to the normal scope creep that you are constantly beating off you also need to watch for sub-project managers and stakeholders in the various countries attempting to use global funding for their pet projects.
10. Performance bonus
Congratulations you have successfully managed a global project!
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LipStick
Next time when you go shopping for lipstick....
Just keep this mail in mind. This comes from someone who works in the breast cancer unit at Mt. Sinai Hospital, in Toronto, Dr. Nahid Neman.
If there is a female you care anything about, share this with her.
Recently a lipstick brand called "Red Earth" decreased their prices from $67 to $9.90 as it proved that it contains lead. Lead is a chemical which causes cancer.
The lipstick brands that contain lead are:
CHRISTIAN DIOR
LANCOME
CLINIQUE
Y.S.L
ESTEE LAUDER
SHISEIDO
RED EARTH (Lip Gloss)
CHANEL (Lip Conditioner)
MARKET AMERICA-MOTNES LIPSTICK.
The higher the lead content, the greater the chance of causing cancer.
After doing a test onlipsticks, it was found that the
Y.S.L. lipstick contained the mostamount of lead.
Watch out for those lipsticks which are supposed to stay longer.
If yourlipstick stays longer, it is because of the higher content of lead.
Here is the test you can do yourself:
1. Put some lipstick on your hand.
2. Use a Gold ring to scratch on the lipstick.
3. If the lipstick colour changes to black,then you know the lipstick contains lead.
Please pass this information to all your girlfriends, wives and femalefamily members.
This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.
Dioxin Carcinogens cause cancer, especially breast cancer.
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Some useful tips...
1) Drink at least 8 glasses of water every day.
2) Cut some beet root into small pieces and grind them. Squeeze juice from
beet root and massage to your face for 5 minutes. Shower after 10 minutes with
mild soap or gram flour.
3) Mix sandalwood powder with rose water and add 4 to 5 drops of milk in it
and apply on to your face and body. Shower after 15 minutes with warm
water.
4) Mix honey in water and drink daily in the morning to keep your skin shiny
and smooth.
5) Warm honey and mix with lemon juice and apply on to face. Wash after it
dry.
6) Mix Turmeric, sandal powder and olive oil and apply to body. Shower after
10 minutes.
7) Massage your skin with milk. Milk has moisturiser, it will keep your skin
smooth.
8) Use humidifiers and keep room temperature moderate to keep your skin away
from dryness.
9) Hot water blushes your skin and you don't feel fresh unless you have bath
with little cold water. If you have shower for a long-time, dead skin will
be automatically be removed. Do not rub with towel, be gentle on your skin.
10) Take food which contains more A and C vitamin.
11) Grate carrot and boil. Massage that mixture to body to get fair and
smooth skin.
12) For natural bleaching: - mix milk and lemon juice. The milk will break
as soon as you mix the lemon juice in it. Use that mixture to massage on your
body. It works as natural bleaching.
13) Mix turmeric and cream on the top of milk, massage that mixture to body.
14) If you go into sun your skin will lost the fair ness. To get your skin
colour to normal take equal quantities of cucumber juice and tomato juice
and apply on to skin. Shower after 10 minutes.
15) Massage mustard oil to your skin for 5 minutes and have shower with gram
flour or mild soap.
16) Mix cream on the top of milk and all-purpose flour and apply that paste
on to your skin avoid eyes, eyebrows and lips. Shower after 5 minutes. This
will make skin smooth.
17) Mix curds (yoghurt) with wheat flour and apply to your skin and take
shower after 5 minutes.
18) Grind rose petals and mix with cream on the top of milk and apply to
your body. Shower after 10 minutes.
19) Scaly skin is a result of fluorine deficiency. Fluorine is the anti-
resistant element of the human body, the absence of which creates problems
in the blood and spleen. Since cooking and heating foods destroys
fluorine, it is better to eat uncooked raw fruits and vegetables. Other
foods rich in fluorine are goat milk and cheese, rye flour, avocados, sea
plants and cabbage, cream whey and cottage cheese.
20) Wrinkle skin is a result of Sodium deficiency and makes skin sticky.
Cucumbers are ideal for combating and preventing sodium deficiency because
they are not only high in sodium, but also help in keeping the body cool,
a great summer's treat.
21) Skin rashes are the result of silicon deficiency. To avoid pus and
rashes, eat plenty of sprouts, alfalfa, barley, tomatoes, spinach, strawberries
and figs.
22) Skin eruptions are the result of Chlorophyll. And are found in wheat
grass and other green leafy vegetables
Glowing Skin...
Home remedies for a glowing complexion
Looking good costs money, right... Or does it?
If you are feeling too broke to splurge on a facial at the salon, let Mother Nature come to the rescue.
All you need is to do is invest some time and effort once a week, and use the ingredients available in your kitchen to concoct your own facial at home.
You can decide which facial to opt for, depending on your skin type and on the availability of the ingredients.
These facials can be done once a week, or before going for a party or for an occasion.
Note of caution: If your skin is sensitive to any natural product, it is advisable to consult a dermatologist before using any of the given remedies.
Also, please wash your face before using any of these face packs.
Normal skin
~ Extract the juice of half an orange or tomato, mix with two teaspoons of curd. Lightly massage onto your face in an upward direction. Let it dry. Then, wash your face with cold water and wipe dry. This will give your skin a nice glow.
~ Rub the inner part of the skin of a papaya on your face. Let it dry. Then, wash your face with cold water and wipe dry. This will give your skin a nice glow.
Whenever you cut a papaya to eat, save a small portion of the peel for this purpose. You can store the peel in an airtight container for about two days in the fridge; however, it is preferable to use it fresh.
~ Grind 50 grams (around half a cup) of cabbage and extract the juice. Apply this on your face. After it dries, wash with cool water and wipe dry. This helps tighten your skin and prevents wrinkles.
~ Grind one small carrot and squeeze the pulp to remove the juice. Apply the juice on your face and let it dry. Then, wash with cold water and wipe your face dry. This helps to rejuvenate your skin.
~ Whenever eating an apple, do not discard the skin. Use it as a skin cleanser.
Just rub the inner side of the peel in an upward direction and let your face dry. Then, wash with cool water and pat dry. This helps tighten your skin.
~ Take an ice cube and rub on your face. Then, pat dry. This helps to improve blood circulation and keeps your skin healthy.
Variation: Boil some lemon grass in a small container of water and cool. Pour it in the ice tray and freeze. Later, rub the ice cube on your face.
~ Beat the white of one egg and apply on your face in an upward direction. Once it dries, wash with cold water. It helps tighten your skin and delays wrinkles.
Oily skin
~ Make a paste of 2 tbsp of wheat flour using as much water as needed. Apply on your face in an upward motion. Leave to dry. Then, wash with cool water and pat dry. This helps remove excess oil from your skin.
~ Mix two teaspoons of raw milk, around the same quantity of cucumber juice and few drops of lemon. With a cotton ball, apply the solution on your face and leave to dry. Then, wash with water and pat dry.
~Soak two to three teaspoons of methi (fenugreek) seeds overnight. Grind into a paste, then rub on your face. Once it dries, wash with cool water.
The granular effect helps remove blackheads. M ethi also helps remove excess oil from your skin.
The excess paste can be stored in the refrigerator but should be used within a week.
~ Soak two to three teaspoons of whole masoor dal (red gram) overnight. Grind into a paste and apply on your face. Once it dries, wash your face with cold water and pat dry. It gives the same effect as methi.
The excess paste can be stored in the refrigerator but should be used within two days.
~ Grind half a cucumber and squeeze to remove the juice. Apply the juice on your face and leave to dry. Then wash with water and pat dry.
It helps refresh and tighten your skin.
For dry skin
~ Mash half a ripe banana, add a teaspoon of honey and make a paste. Apply on your face. Once it dries, wash with cold water and pat dry.
This acts as a moisturiser and helps in tighten your skin.
~ Soak khus khus (poppy seeds) overnight. Grind it with just enough milk to make a paste. Apply on your face. Once it dries, wash with cold water.
The natural oil present in khus khus helps to moisturise your skin.
~ Just before boiling milk, remove two tablespoons. Massage it lightly on your face in an upward motion. Leave to dry, then wash with water and pat dry.
This helps to keep your skin supple.
Variation: Add ¼ teaspoon of salt to the raw milk and follow the same process. However, avoid doing this if you have pimples on your face.
~ Make a paste of 2-5 tablespoons of raw peanuts with milk. Add ¼ teaspoon of honey to it. Apply on your face. Leave to dry. Then wash with cold water and pat dry.
The natural oils present in the peanuts help moisturise your skin.
~ Make a paste of one teaspoon of malai, a pinch of turmeric and four to five drops of olive oil. Apply on your face, leave to dry. Wash with cold water and pat dry.
Malai acts as a natural moisturiser and turmeric and olive oil helps rejuvenate your skin.
Combination skin
~ Mix 3-4 tablespoons of Multani mitti (Fuller's Earth) with 8-10 ground pudina (mint) leaves. Freeze the pack overnight.
Keep outside for 10-15 minutes and then apply on your face. After 10-15 minutes, wash off and pat dry. It helps in cooling and cleansing your skin.
~ Boil a handful of lemon grass leaves in one litre of water, until you get the aroma. Then, place in an ice tray and freeze.
After returning home from work or an outing, rub a lemon grass ice cube all over your face. It cleanses the dirt and grime accumulated in your skin's pores and shuts them.
Whisk away black spots and pimples
~ Make a paste of either half a piece of nutmeg/ six to eight jamun seeds with water/ rose water. Apply on your face. Leave to dry. Then, wash with cold water and pat dry.
~ Squeeze half a fresh lemon into one glass of freshly boiled milk. Leave for half and hour, then apply on your face before retiring to bed.
~ Take 125 ml (¾ cup) of tomato juice and squeeze in half a lemon. Add five to seven mashed mint leaves and black salt to taste.
Drink this every morning and evening for at least one week. It will help detoxify the body.
It also helps to relieve constipation and worm infestation.
For blemishes
~ Rub a slice of lemon or the remains a squeezed lemon on your face. Allow it to remain overnight, then wash with cold water. It will restore your skin's softness and lend your complexion a glow.
~ Squeeze the juice of one lemon into one ripe tomato (in which a hole has been made). Rub the tomato on your face. Leave to dry. Then, wash with water and pat dry.
Diet tips
Diet can play a major role in imparting glow and freshness to your skin, some of the tips that can help are:
~ Drink 12 to14 glasses of water everyday.
~ Avoid eating to much of fried foods like vadas, samosa, chips, bhajias, etc. Stick to fresh vegetable salads or fruit salads.
Depending on the seasonal availability, eat all types of fresh, green vegetables and all types of fresh, juicy fruits (except for strawberries and mangoes; they are heaty and overconsumption can lead to acne).
~ Avoid consuming too much of heaty food like chillies, garlic, non-vegetarian items or dried fruits like dates.
~ Detoxify once a month by consuming fresh vegetables, fruits and liquids all day.
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